|
|
|
|
|
|
Guest Column:
S8 Guest Column: "Amber Won and God Hates Me"
By
5/17/2004
Tedhighway gives his take on the Survivor: All-Stars finale, reunion, and America's Tribal Council.
I’ve said it all along, Amber Brkich would win "Survivor",....and she did. It’s official, God hates me.
Oh well, despite Amber’s victory, it was still a great season with a lively ending. I may throw my minor temper tantrums every now and then, but that never diminishes my love for this beautiful show. It was a hell of a season filled with some great moments and great characters. To the finale we go.
Everything worked out exactly as I predicted. Rupert came in fourth, Jenna came in third, and Robfather lost to Amber in the finals. If I had been a jury member, I would have voted for Boston Rob to win. I thought he played an outstanding game, and he most certainly did whatever he could in order to get to the end. Yes, he did make a few tiny mistakes along the way, and yes, he could have handled some situations differently, but in my honest opinion, I thought he should have won.
Nonetheless, that being said, it does not diminish everything Amber accomplished in the game. Some might argue that she didn’t accomplish much at all, but I beg to differ. She held on to Rob throughout the game, thus creating a shield for herself. She always managed to find herself in the right position when she needed to be there. Job well done, Amber.
That being said, I do not consider the winner of All-Stars to be in the same class as the other seven previous winners. This was a much different game with much different implications and obstacles. People like Richard Hatch, Tina Wesson, Rob Cesternino, etc, left for reasons that were beyond their own control. They left due to previous reputations they had assumed in their former games. Therefore I can’t look at All-Stars and say Amber is the best player for sure, because I think that would be lying.
One thing All-Stars did bring us was a very lively jury. Lex, Kathy, Big Tom, Shii Ann, and Alicia all produced moments that will be remembered. I already think Big Tom’s speech deserves a place right next to Sue Hawk’s speech from the first season thanks to the sheer entertainment value of it. "Don’t be stupid, stupid," is one of the greatest quotes that the series has ever produced. Thank you Big Tom.
Although I loved the liveliness of the jury, I did not agree with their attitudes and opinions. For once I agreed with Shii Ann when she said, "People in glass houses should not throw stones." I know, I was just as shocked as you were when I found myself agreeing with a statement made by Shii Ann.
Anywho, of course one of the biggest surprises of the night happened when the show went live just as Jeff was about to announce Amber as the winner. Robfather got down on his knee and popped the question to the soon-to-be All-Stars winner. He gave her a holy hell big rock and they were officially engaged. Awwwwwww.
The reunion was like a pro wrestling match at times. The crowd was going nuts as they cheered and booed for the favorites and the most hated. Star of the reunion in my opinion; Richard Hatch. The man came off intelligent and insightful, just like he always does. It was quite a welcome surprise to finally see the show’s first big-time villain get some much deserved applause.
Lex was someone that received his fair amount of boos from the audience. Lex was the man that took out his best friends such as Colby, Ethan, and Jerri because, in his words, "It was business." Yet he also got extremely upset when Robfather cut him loose. Now this is something that I think can go either way. In defense of Lex, he had never made any deal to progress farther with either Colby, Ethan, or Jerri, yet Boston Rob came to him and told him with tears in his eyes, "You take care of her, and I’ll take care of you." Lex took care of Amber, therefore it’s a deal. Lex and Kathy were banking on their good friend Rob to keep his end of the bargain, yet he did not. On the other hand, I do think that Lex took the game a little too seriously. He should have realized that things within the game do not reflect real life. It’s just a move that Rob thought he had to make, although I think he could’ve taken a different route myself.
Moving on, Jerri found herself walking out of the studio during a commercial break after having been booed relentlessly. She never even got a real chance to say anything before the crowd reacted so heavily. Poor Jerri....nah, not really. I believe she wants everyone to take pity on her, yet she needs to wake up and realize that she signed up for it. Everyone else realized that, why can’t she.
Of course the much ballyhooed surprise that we’ve been hearing about happened to be a second million dollar prize. Jeffy announced that we, the fans, could take part in a vote to determine a winner. The voting took place right after the finale all the through Wednesday. The winner would be announced on Thursday. So, it’s a big ol’ popularity contest.
After Jeff announced this, if you didn’t immediately think Rupert was going to win, then you need some swift psychiatric help. Hell, I think the sole intent of this whole surprise was just to give Rupert the money so his fans, which are too many, will be happy.
Anyways, we had ourselves another reunion on Thursday for the big announcement of the winner of the popularity contest. All is apparently well in the world, Jerri Manthey was there. Anyways, we also got some other votes revealed throughout the night in a type of “Survivor” awards ceremony.
"Best Fight" happened to go to Rupert versus Jonny Fairplay from the Pearl Islands season. I myself voted for Kimmi versus Alicia from Australia. "I will always wave my finger in your face!" How can you not love that? But of course, with a country full of Rupertheads that suck the dirt with which he walks upon, of course they voted his fight against Fairplay as the winner. Anything Mighty Rupert does is greatness, so says the Rupertheads.
"Sexiest Male" went to Colby Donaldson from Australia and All-Stars. I’m a straight male, so I could care less about that category.
"Sexiest Female" went to Amber from Australia and winner of All-Stars. To this I say;...no. It’s obvious the audience has a very short attention span. I would think Colleen from Borneo or Elisabeth from Australia would have won this. Weird.
"Best Villain" went to Jonny Fairplay who happened to be sitting in the front row. I love Jon, and just seeing him in the audience was a treat. Just looking at the man makes me laugh with joy.
"Best Moment" went to the time Rupert stole shoes from the Morgan tribe in Pearl Islands. Think about this. Best moment out of all eight seasons………and Rupert stealing shoes wins? What the hell?! There is just so much wrong with that. I thought it was obvious that Sue’s speech or Mike Skupin falling in the fire would have won. One of those two should have won. This was just insane and stupid. Rupert stealing shoes; give me a break.
Okay, Jeff brought down the final four in the voting. They happened to be Rupert, Colby, Big Tom, and Robfather. I was surprised Rudy wasn’t there. I figured he was a shoe-in. Anyways, Rupert won the million. Big shock. Oh, and if I have to read any more articles making dumb claims such as, "Finally, the viewers get the winner right even when the contestants can’t," I might puke for all eternity.
Anywho, it’s been a great season filled with great moments. I’ll never forget the excitement I felt when I first saw all eighteen of the all-stars lined up together at the first challenge. To me, the best moment of the season was when Richard bit a shark. Again, he bit a freaking shark, people! Good times.
THE HIGHWAY COUNTDOWN
1. Brian Heidik – He gets the number one slot because his legacy was not tarnished thanks to not participating in the show. For he definitely would have been one of the first few people kicked out. Just ask the other great players such as Tina, Rob C., Rich, Colby, etc.
Kidding, there is no countdown.
It’s been great, and I can’t wait to do it again. See you next season.
|
|
|
 |
|
|
